Becoming a Working Mother and Managing your Expectations

I’ve been struggling to write this issue’s Letter from the Founder, mostly because we go into production before the issue goes LIVE and I’m about to hit one of the most monumental milestones of my lifetime. Becoming a Mother. And that’s what I want to share, in addition to all the amazing articles you’ll find in this issue.

I’m still pregnant, but as of press time I will officially be a Mom — and I contemplated writing this channeling my future self, but there are some things in life that are impossible even though I’m a big believer in quite the opposite. However, I would say that it is virtually impossible to be able to write about how it will feel when Baby Jasmine is born.

I’ve heard and read about it being the greatest love you will ever feel. I’m sure that will be more than true. I hear that becoming a mother is one of the greatest joys, and I believe that too. I’m going to confidently assume those feelings (and so many more) — and I can comfortably conclude that 2018 is the year of change for me.

What about you? So many of us make resolutions and don’t stick to them. And if you have found yourself among the majority of people who make ‘em just to break ‘em, it’s probably because:

Your resolutions or goals (I like to call them goals) are over the top. I hate to use the word unrealistic because again, anything is possible. For example, if your goal is to become a millionaire in 2018, that’s totally realistic. BUT is it realistic if you’re not even making 6 figures yet? Probably not. It’s highly unlikely in other words. So ask yourself, if you’re setting yourself up for failure. I say this because my goal for 2017 was to hit half a million and it didn’t happen. I felt really disappointed, but now I realize how ridiculous that expectation was. I took inventory of how far I’ve come, and asked myself: am I making progress towards this goal? The answer is yes. It was just like my personal goal of becoming a mother within 6 months of being married (2014). Unexpected turbulence happened along the way, so I’ve learned that you WILL get to your goals in time. Have patience. It doesn’t always happen the way we picture it. In fact, it rarely does and that’s the beauty of life’s surprises.

you will get to your goals in time nineveh madsen her magazine

You haven’t outlined a clear action plan. I’ve been here, too. The #1 resolution every year revolves around weight loss. We’ve all said it, “I want to lose X amount of pounds.” And then we think we can tackle this goal on our own. We last maybe a week — maybe. Here’s why: most of us are living reactively. We are in a constant state of REACTION. And when you get stuck in this cycle, it is very difficult to accomplish much. A clear action plan means writing out a road map. How will I get to X? Let’s say it’s something as simple as losing some weight. I say simple because my husband owns a gym and he successfully runs weight loss challenges. His clients experience phenomenal results because they have the recipe/a clear action plan. Therein lies the secret. If you want to accomplish a goal, not only do you need a clear action plan — I’d suggest you need an EXPERT to help you map that out for you, especially if you lack the discipline to do it on your own. Most of us need checks and balances. This is why so many of us as business owners, entrepreneurs, executives, working women know how important it is to have mentors, coaches etc. Why would it be any different for your resolutions?

Your excuses are stronger than your desire to change. Admit it. You don’t want it that bad. If you’re the type of person who complains (doubtful if you’re a HER Magazine reader, but perhaps you know these people — they are EVERYWHERE!) and always blames life’s pitfalls on others, chances are you’re an excuse maker and you don’t really have a desire to change. Listen, it’s okay to be completely okay with where you’re at in life. Sometimes, there’s way too much pressure in society for us to be hyper goal-oriented. There is such a thing as ‘too much,’ and if you’re an overachiever like myself — this attitude can become unhealthy. Revisit your goals, and ask yourself ‘Is this too much? Am I demanding too much of myself?’ If the answer is yes, back off. BUT if you’re noticing a pattern — a pattern that revolves around a constant lack of progress — chances are you may be an excuse maker. *Or it could simply be that you fall into #1 or #2’s categories.

For me, my 2018 goal is to accept changes as they come. I’ve applied points 1, 2 and 3 and above to prepare for motherhood as much as I can. I’m sure I will not be ‘prepared’ (who ever really is?), but having set actionable goals and a plan will undoubtedly make everything feel less scary. I can’t wait to share my experience with you.

Catch me on Instagram @ninevehmadsen where I’m very active with pictures and Insta Stories. I may be off the grid after having my medically necessary c-section, but I have no doubt this busy body will be sharing my journey with you through social media.

In the meantime, please enjoy this issue featuring Christina Fulton on the cover. She’s an incredibly impressive woman who is making waves in the skincare industry, teaming up with some heavy hitters like Gary V.

Christina Fulton double cover HER Magazine Nicholas Cage ex wife

Click here to access our Spring issue featuring Christina Fulton

 

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