Breaking the Rules: Why Every Woman Should Do It

Woman looking slyly away

A well behaved woman holds herself fiercely accountable. She has the confidence to be courageous, break the rules, take compliments, and she is not afraid to appreciate her success.

Most of us have been taught that well behaved means being a quiet unassuming rule follower, with a sweet candy coating.

I consider myself a well behaved woman, you probably do too, but the oldepiction of sugar and spice and everything nice, just isnt me. Ive gotten a lot farther and had considerably more fun making my own rules, with no apologies for being a woman.

The definition of ‘behave’ is to — conduct oneself in accordance with the accepted norms of a society or group.

These accepted codes have become a dangerous deception of archaic thinking. You are the person who knows YOU better than anyone else and following other peoples rules may not get you as far as you think. Its time to take the well-behaved woman to the next level. Its time to live like a boss.

Why should you not be someone else’s definition of a well behaved woman? You may miss out on the ability to expose the real raw you.

Vulnerability is a level of strength many people dont experience. It takes raw courage and wide open fearlessness to be vulnerable. A trait we are taught is just too risky. But Ive learned that you can never know what is truly, indestructibly you without having been annihilated a few times. In that annihilation a phoenix rises with a force you cannot back away from, when you are shaken to your core, but have the choice to get up day after day, feeling bruised and broken, and still make your own way. This is the point when you say, Im not afraid to be public and original, even if that means I fail first before I succeed. Im raw and exposed and that makes me real.

Expected societal behavior crushes the unconventional.

Our work focused, beauty obsessed, material oriented culture adores the follower relationship. This fails women, moms, professionals and yes, men too. As a follower we are allowed to stop thinking independently as everything is fed to us. Most of the media’s profits come from helping us forget the truth that women are equal, powerful, and should not be easily crushed. Being conventionallacks originality and challenge. I say throw some misbehaving in there, we are women too multidimensional to fit any mold. So put on your highest, reddest, funkiest heels and start walking to your own avant-garde beat.

The incredibly attractive, desirable and passionate you may be hiding.

Are women well behaved if they enjoy their sexuality? What about if they make no apologies for what they wear, eat, drink, think or how they raise their families and make love? Yes, Yes, YES, Im here to suggest that the definition of a well-behaved women needs some updating. In the 2015 version a woman can be well behaved and be outrageously outspoken, sexually passionate, and wildly successful at home and work. Intimacy and passion are mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. We should not be afraid to dare greatly or break claims that we have to be craved by the opposite sex to have a place in this world. Dont hide your passionate and sexy side because of someone elses definition of well behaved. If we hide, the deluge of internet sites or acts sanctioning behavior, invalidating women around the world will only thrive. If being upfront about your desires is misbehaving, I suggest you start immediately.

You may ignore your inherent skills to take risks and reach your goals.

Women have a natural intuition, I like to think — a glimpse of their future and the possibilities at hand. Keeping that intuitive skill under wraps may leave us cracked and dull, with little light left to shine through. Our light was meant to burst open our shadowed corners where our souls are waiting. Inherent instincts and skills can have consequences, but in this case they will be new levels of risk taking and goal reaching. Embrace those consequences and apply your intuition with reckless abandon. Because the real you will be there long after the naysayers have moved on.  

You’re letting the men have all the fun. Men misbehave in society all the time.

Its often easily overlooked and accepted, even when that behavior leaves behind a wake of devastation. Those are boys, not men, and a well misbehaved woman knows when to let go of a boy so he can grow into a man. Especially the ones that tell us. Dont worry your pretty little head about it.This isnt to disempower men, we have our own power, and real men love competent women. Its a reminder that living like a boss doesnt mean reeking havoc on peoples lives, including your own. Its not drama, or insecurity. Awful behavior isnt misbehavingits just plain awful. Live with a fullness in life and keep it spicy, we cant let the men have all the fun.

Ive been told what to like, how to look and what I should do. Want to know where Ive found the most happiness? In my own skin, doing what Im comfortable with, in spite of the cool kids. Most of our lives weve been taught the virtues of behaving, now were revealing the importance of misbehaving.

To the women reading this today, start with finding one little element that confines you, one you are told defines you — and break it.

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